New Painting: Embracing Grace Everyday

Computer issues and illness have slowed me down a little in the last week and a half. But here is my latest painting. This painting started out as this experiment in minimalism. Then I wanted to re-do it and make something colorful. I wanted to have a butterfly flying beneath the tree, but it turned into a Buddah. I don't normally paint people but this one really wanted to be on this painting. It wouldn't stop nagging me until I painted it on! Embracing Grace is my phrase for embracing, or accepting fully the grace that resides in every moment that we experience no matter how we judge that moment, good or bad. My favorite definition of grace is:

"Gracefulness has been defined as outward expression of inward harmony of the soul"
~William Hazlitt

 Isn't that beautiful?
Lovely.
Inward harmony of the soul.
Aligned.
Functioning along that alignment.
Living one's harmonious purpose through outward expression.
This is what I'm seeking for my life and I may need to continue seeking it for the rest of my life...
what better way to live.

Dear Monterey...

I am in love.

You have wooed me with your beautiful trees

Your ocean and beaches have drawn me to them with a magnetic force I could never resist

Your beautiful light enlivens my soul

Your fresh air has cleansed my heart

After many miles, I finally feel at home.

Five Senses

Seeing:
burnt orange + chocolate brown
busy morning traffic, bicycles and walkers hurrying
morning sun filtering it's light through the window
chalkboard menus
changing leaves of fall.

Hearing:
busy voices--working, socializing
the buzz and whir of the cappuccino machine
delightful laughter and giggles of the little girl across the way
the crunch of ice in my daughter's cup
faint music drowned out by voices.

Smelling:
bitterness of roasted coffee beans
heat coming through the window
freshness of the shampoo in my hair
sugary bakery goods.

Tasting:
fall--cinnamon, nutmeg + pumpkin
sweet morning
bliss in my cup of tea.

Feeling:
softeness of the sweater against my skin
the silver chain around my neck that reminds me of friendship and brilliant colors of life
warmth of sunshine comforting both body and soul
slight tension in my heart
breath moving steadily through my body.

Where are you this moment? What are you sensing?

New Painting

"Keep Breathing", 24X30, acrylic on canvas

Sometimes, all we can do is keep breathing.

Truth

 

Today, I ran across Jen Lemen's brilliant post about what happens when you keep your truth hidden. Jen's words are so true. I know because I, like many of us, spent a lot of years with my truth in hiding and have experienced every one of the things on Jen's list. I've spent the last few years deliberately practicing my truth (or getting in touch with my truth) and practicing being open and being seen. I'm one of the slow learners. Things can take me a while and do and that's OK. Being seen can be incredibly terrifying. The most important thing is that we face our fears, not that we be fast at it. And if we push too hard before we are really ready, it's counterproductive. What I've discovered is this:

• Peeling back each layer of fear brings me closer to the truth of who I am and what I am really about, I start to see and see more clearly. I have started to feel a relief, an acceptance of myself as I really am. 
• Feeling all the pain that kept me hiding in the first place is scary and difficult, but as I continue to feel it, be honest about what I feel, what is important to me and what I really want for my life, it is gradually replaced by an embracing: of my truth, my story, myself. 
• I've also come to realize that we all have this experience of wanting hide our true selves and opt for a manufactured self, one that is better, more acceptable. Where I thought I was alone, I was really just like everyone else. Where I was trying to be like everyone else and blend in, I made myself feel the most alone.

A Little Quiet Reading

Texture: "Silence" by Kim Klassen

A little fall reading and feeling a little introspective lately. Fall does that to me; it always brings me back to my center after the heat and activity of summer. It's a chance to slow down, get back into routine and renew my priorities.

Walden, by Henry David Thoreau - I read this in high school and loved it. It's still one of my favorites.
The House of Belonging, by David Whyte
The Power of Kindness, by Pierro Ferrucci - I am loving this book! It will probably stay on my nightstand.
Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain
New and Selected Poems, Volume II, by Mary Oliver

Looking Up