Inspiration Saturday

Seen at my one of my favorite coffee places

TONS of inspiration in these mood boards.

I don't know quite why (although comedians are my favorite people), but I'm addicted to this. Wanna get some coffee?

Amazing and beautiful

The daily routines of these writers

What to do when you don't feel quite good enough This is brilliant!

Brunch

Saturday's dark and rainy morning was the perfect day for brunch downtown. So, D and I got ourselves up and outside in our boots to go to what has become one of my favorite places for breakfast/brunch, Della Fattoria. We haven't gone out for brunch in a long time, so it felt special.  This particular place is special too. It's family owned and they grow all of their own food on their ranch in a rural area outside of town. The atmosphere is rustic and elegant at the same time and the service is excellent.

Our view across the street. I just loved how the white lights from the chandelier inside the restaurant were reflecting so beautifully in the window due to the dark and rainy outside.

The best crab bennie I have ever had! Instead of english muffins it was served on their homemade bread instead. And if that wasn't treat enough, the owner came over to talk to me and when I told her how much I was enjoying the crab (isn't crab better when it's dark and raining outside? Maybe that's the Pacific Northwest girl in me!) she let me know that they had gone over to pick it up fresh from fishermen the previous afternoon. Suddenly my perspective flipped! I wasn't just simply eating breakfast in a nice restaurant. I was partaking in a group endeavor that involved someone raising chickens and gathering eggs, someone else made this delicious, earthy bread, another went to the fishermen who had caught the crab to bring it back to the restaurant, a talented chef turned it into a creative, mouth-watering experience on a plate and the whole thing was brought to me by a kind, caring person who made sure I had everything I needed! I know this happens every time I order a meal. But you can't always put the names and faces to it like I could thisorning. The backstory of the creativity and care that went into preparing a meal made our whole experience that morning even more special. I know this happens every time I order a meal. But you can't always put the names and faces to it like I could this morning. It was so much more personal and so I appreciated it that much more. We felt so nurtured and cared for after that meal. So fed.

We celebrated afterward with a short walk in the rain with my happy umbrella! We have needed the rain so badly, being in the middle of a drought.

Beautiful People

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

What Being A Care Giver Taught Me About Self Care

"To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else."  ~Emily Dickinson 

Back in November of last year, I wrote in my journal: 

I'm experiencing the restlessness, irritability and general malaise resulting from inadequate self-care and lack of creativity in my days. I can do well for a little while but then I find myself tired and getting caught up into just doing work and caring for D. At that point, I find myself slipping into that lack of creativity cycle and then the angst-y, irritable, frustration/depression kicks in. Ugh. 

I get so frustrated with taking care of D. Her care requires so much of me. Sometimes it feels like a losing battle and the stress wears us all down. I can find myself feeling frustrated, unmotivated and sometimes I just want to throw in the towel. But of course I can't and I won't. I'm just tired exhausted! I made her a promise at the beginning of all of this that I wouldn't leave her in this darkness. I intend to keep my promise. But finding the line between helping her and losing myself can be a bit challenging.  

The positivity that I was experiencing during the last several days has seemed to wane. This week I will make self-care my top priority and creativity my second and see how it goes."

In the last several months, I've been adding to my learning about self care and self love, particularly in challenging and stressful times. I allow myself to have more of what I need, I understand & evaluate my needs more clearly, I'm more honest, I experience far less shame & guilt (and I find myself, oh, so much happier without that last one). I find that the best thing to do for myself when the angst-y, irritable, depression monster is rearing it's ugly head, is to get myself up and go for a walk. This gets my body moving again, my blood circulating, helps me get some air (angst-y irritable, frustration/depression can be suffocating) and clear the tangled cob web of thoughts in my head. Then I need to step back into my self care routine, immediately. Which is doing my basic, everyday, self-care, maintenance things (i.e.: take a shower, brush my teeth, wear clothes that make me feel put together and happy, shave my legs) as well as making time for one self care hour a day to do whatever I want. Sometimes, I think that an hour is too much, if it really is, I just do what I can. Taking care of D is very time consuming and some days I just don't have an hour. But I've come to realize that an hour isn't a luxury for me, it's imperative. It's vital to my own health and without my own health, I can't adequately take care of D let alone enjoy any part of my own life. Sometimes, I have to tell myself that I need to practice self care (i.e.: take a hot bath, go to yoga, get together with friends for coffee, schedule that dentist appointment, put jojoba oil on my legs) just because they are things I need to do, akin to cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, scheduling maintenance on my car and paying my bills. Then I don't have to rely on "feeling motivated" to practice my self care because let's face it, if you are depressed or stressed, there is really no such thing as "feeling motivated" and no matter what you do, no matter who you listen to, or what you read, you just can not conjure it up. So I don't even try. I just do what I need to do because it is what I need to do. As for creativity, I can certainly make a case for it being self care for me, and I think it is, but it's also my work, my hobby, my leisure activity, my learning curve. So, I find that it's best to make priority of my self-care again first and then work creativity back into my days. (more about creativity later)

How do you keep yourself healthy during challenging and stressful times? How do you not lose yourself in the challenge? I found it so tempting caring for an ill child to want to give everything to her. I want to fix it. Make it better and then say, brushing my hands together, "there" and move on. But life doesn't work like that on most days, does it? And "normal" has a way of morphing into a "new normal" in both sudden and gradual ways that can really rock your foundations and change how you live your life, either temporarily or permanently. How do you keep steady? What are your favorite "anchors" or centering practices that you rely on?

Grand Re-Opening!

After a very long hiatus during which I was taking care of an ill family member, I am re-opening my blog. (Oh, how I've missed you!) Things are not fully restored yet and still in process, but well on the way (more about that later). I am happy that there is finally now enough space for me to make art, take photos and blog. The past year has confirmed to me that I am a maker, an artist, no doubt about it any longer. It is where I am home and the happiest. It is how I cope. It is my sanity. It's where I bring out my best. It's how I express what is near and dear to my heart. I am determined to restore my own life after caring for my loved one (care-taking is taxing indeed, and if you're not careful, it can deplete you)! In addition, I am also creating a new home. I'll be sharing much about these things and what I've learned, gained, feared and struggled with over the past year during the next several days and weeks.

Restoration Underway

Due to several factors in my current life situation, I've decided to take an indefinite break from blogging.
Wishing you peace and joy.

You Are Stardust

“Every tiny atom in your body came from a star that exploded long before you were born.”

Think about that for a moment...isn't it incredible? We are made of stars. Carl Sagan and Albert Einstein talked about this and it is  frequently mentioned by a variety of astrophysicists, astronomers and physicists on Discovery's How the Universe Works. I am deeply moved by it every time I hear it or think of it.

You Are Stardust begins by introducing the idea that every tiny atom in our bodies came from a star that exploded long before we were born. From its opening pages, the book suggests that we are intimately connected to the natural world; it compares the way we learn to speak to the way baby birds learn to sing, and the growth of human bodies to the growth of forests. Written by Elin Kelsey and illustrated by Soyeon Kim, this innovative picture book, grounded in current science, aims to reintroduce children to their innate relationship with the world around them by sharing many of the surprising ways that we are all connected to the natural world. Soyeon Kim’s beautiful diorama art enhances the poetic text, and her creative process is explored in full on the reverse side of the book’s jacket, which features comments from the artist.

"Be still. Listen.
Like you, the Earth breathes.
Your breath is alive with the promise of flowers.
Each time you blow a kiss to the world, you spread pollen that might grow to be a new plant."

The next time you wonder or doubt the value of yourself or your existence, pause and consider that you are made of stardust. You and me and everything on our planet. We are part of a living, breathing organism. And you are just as valuable as each cell in your body. There is no one above you and no one beneath you. We are all interconnected. We are Life.