Bloom True with Flora Bowley

"Life is pure adventure and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as ART."

~Maya Angelo

This past weekend I had the pleasure of not only completing Flora Bowley's e-course, Brave Intuitive You, but also of attending an in person workshop with her at the Teahouse Studio in Berkeley. I didn't take a lot of photos as I really wanted to immerse myself in the painting process and soak up all there was before me. I wish I had taken more now that it is over! It was a fabulous weekend and I'm so glad I attended! Teahouse Studio is an informal, cute and inspiring space and we were so well taken care of (the food was absolutely delicious!) with plenty of energy available just for painting. Flora's style of teaching is informative and inspiring and encourages the freedom to explore and discover. She emphasizes the intuitive listening of oneself without thinking too much and trusting the process. For me, that translates to self-acceptance. A self-acceptance that trusts my own desires, choices and decisions that take me to adventurous and interesting places.

At the beginning of our first day, we laid a quick base layer on each of our canvases and then watched a demo of  Flora making a wide variation of marks and shapes on her canvas. We then made our way around the room making marks on each canvas as prompted by Flora. The experience was fun and liberating as there was no attachment and any worries about keeping colors or marks "consistent" went out the window. By the time I got back to my own canvas, it certainly wasn't "mine" anymore! And as I looked at it, I saw all kinds of colors, shapes and marks that were definitely someone else's. Everyone contributed such a richness in variety and color that I found so interesting and exciting! I found myself immediately grateful and "out of the box". Free to experiment and try new things and see what might happen.

The second day we worked on bringing out some images or just shapes or whatever was occurring at that moment. In other words, just keeping the process going. One thing that Flora said that really resonated with me was: Make a commitment knowing that it can change. I found myself enjoying the feeling of freedom so much that I began to feel the fear of making a commitment to something. I did so anyway and kept pushing through, keeping the process going. I experienced the tension between the freedom and making choices. Each time I became stuck, I learned to "spiral out", step back and gain some perspective, turn my canvas to see if I saw something new, or switch it with my other one and come back to it later. The thought that "every mark is supposed to be there" was enormously comforting and encouraging when those gremlins, self-doubt, judgement and comparison would pop into my head.

Intuitive listening = Trust
Trust = Self-Acceptance
Acceptance + Choice = Freedom
Freedom to fly. Freedom to bloom. Freedom to shine. Freedom to BE. To Be True.

"You have only to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves."

~Mary Oliver

Being Brave Means Trusting

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” 

 -Audre Lorde

In Flora Bowley's Bloom True class this week, we are focusing on being brave. It's such an important concept at this point because while our paintings are becoming something, they might not look like it yet. This point in the process (whether it's painting or something else in life) is the make or break point. It's when all the self-doubt, fear and resistance come out and try to talk you out of continuing on your way. They try to talk you out of believing in who you are. The important thing  to remember is that they are becoming. Just as we are. And it's in the becoming where the treasure lies.

When you practice being brave the first thing you notice of course, is your fear. It can feel like reluctance or nervousness or be quite terrifying and debilitating. I have learned not to push myself beyond what I'm ready for but instead, if I don't feel ready for a giant leap forward or even a small step, I simply stand still. This can be unnerving because our instinct is to do something. But the act of standing still, the looking, the facing brings out my curiosity and seems to lessen the urgent alarm bells going off in my head. I start to wonder...I wonder what will happen if I do this...I wonder what will happen if I move here...I wonder what will happen if I take this step.

As I move toward my fear, the most difficult thing I experience is being faced with my own frustration.  I have to take a look at where it is coming from. Usually I'm impatient with myself or the process, and my expectations are out of sync with the true timing (like this week...I had to remind myself that I'm learning new things, not creating a masterpiece!). I have to actively choose to stay committed to what's at hand and not concern myself with the result or timing. Easier said than done, but I've learned that it's not necessarily a skill you can acquire, it's a practice. Once you reach a level of proficiency, there's a new level waiting to be explored. That seems to take the pressure off of having to be "good" at being brave, doesn't it? I can simply allow myself to be where I am at and receive the gifts that are there for me.

Being brave directly cultivates trusting. Trusting the process. Trusting timing. Trusting where we are at. Trusting that we have what we need for this moment. Trusting our intuition. Trusting our selves. Each time we try something, we learn a little bit more about what we can trust. And each time we trust we get a little bit braver. And that's where the quote above that Flora included in her class today becomes our truth. This week was a bit rocky for me but I still am in love with this process and I received some great gifts in the way of moving into my freedom more.